Soon.

Soon, monday again.

Monday blues, assembly again (But we blue shirts guys pray for a big rain again), english singing competition (Group singing 'A little love' with TingTing, MunGhee, KaiXin. Did a great practice at Secret Recipe from 3pm to 6pm today. And for solo part not yet decide, 'It will rain' or 'Count on me'), chinese class (still wondering what the hell teacher gonna do, BACK HOME again?), extra class (that the stupid headmistress prepared for us.)

What a busy day? Bullshit.

Soon, march again.

March, prefect camp, would be posponed from 9-11 to 12-14, bitches its almost my period date, come on its suffering like hell. Bath, how? Change pad, how? Activities, how? Everything are sucks. And I think I'm gonna find a reason not to go the camp.

Pictures, I wanna upload picturess. Farking cable useless at all, sigh.

Offline,Goodnight world.

Hope the world is treating me well. <3

爸生日，情人节。

老爸的生日过了，一直很想送一份老爸多希望的礼物，我实现了。有钱，什么都不是问题了。上个周末补课后有着Seng陪伴到Jusco买份礼物。其实早上已被老妈骂了一次 “有什么事情自己亲自告诉我，不要sms我，我是你mummy，你的妈妈。” 其实，你不懂我的害怕。很迫不及待地走进TimeToTime，还有CityChain，其实，一个价钱比一个价钱更心疼。我不要什么，我要给老爸最想要的Seiko，我买不起RayBan，可是我至少还买得起Seiko。选了很久，走了很久，同样款式但价钱不大同，最后还是选了CityChain里面的，20%折扣，我觉得自己赚到了（偷笑）。第一次持着cash买过最贵的东西，送给老爸的礼物，心中满满的开心与期待，即使根本就不是买给自己。开了又开，前前后后开了上10次来看，满足感，一直没有离去。提着手表，是时候老妈来载我回家了，原本不想让老妈发现，但最后还是让老妈看见了，妈也吓到了吧？“你有钱买咩？” ，呵，妈，我没钱，我去打枪回来的。你还真问得好笑。于是老妈说自己也在苦恼要买什么礼物，于是也在Jusco绕了很久，于是也有进CityChain，老妈，我俩怎么那么心灵相通。惭愧地是其实自己还欠老妈一份生日礼物啊，老妈也偷偷在隔壁吃起醋说我怎么没买手表给她，呵，老妈，你还真可爱。

好不容易等到星期一，13/2/2012，等待着夜晚的来临，补习回来后迫不及待把礼物送上。爸的那种笑容，很深刻，很记得。“爸，你钟唔钟意？”   “好钟意！”   :) 爸，你喜欢就好，生日快乐，我爱你。

另加:
于是要求那位女士把玻璃箱里的2只表拿出来给我看的时候，一黑一白。她把两只手表，都套在Seng的手腕上。
“若给年轻人的话，黑色比较适合。”
（她该不会以为我是买来送给我身边这位朋友的吧？）
“呃...其实我是买给我爸的。”
“噢，那你爸多少岁呢？”
“40多。”
“那选黑色好了。”
考虑了一下子，Seng也同意黑色比较美，嗯，就买下了。

谢谢Seng陪我买礼物。

另一天，也就是情人节了，14/2/2012，我不是没有心，我是健忘，我是没时间去买礼物。才发现自己收到很多礼物。
-小钊的Ferrero巧克力和打喷嚏这本书。（于是我每次在图书馆，都不停找这本书，谁偷了啊）
-小狼的那朵橘红色玫瑰，和1Bar草莓巧克力。（长这么大一个人，还真的第一次收在一朵玫瑰，上次那朵干枯的简直就碎掉了。这次这多，找了这么多花语我终于找对了，不是什么热情的希望，也不是初恋的感觉，更不是那个什么欲望，是友情。）
-凯欣的Gadbury巧克力。（让我觉得很sweet。）
-欣慧的酒心巧克力。（很苦，很苦，可是很好吃。）
-以宁15号请的Cadbury。（谢谢你厚。）
-利盈17号放学后匆匆忙忙请的一颗Almond巧克力。（也是很好吃嗯。）

谢谢你们的礼物，巧克力。而每一份礼物，都有着不同的意义。<3

于是我是很想很想很想很想upload照片的，只是那个死电话，哎算了，别提了。等有去哪里哪里有wifi的时候才upload去FB。

朋友们还好吗，大多数都和自己有着沟通，惠玲呢？看来她最近真的很忙，很忙。狼呢？闲的时候我偏偏忙着，忙的时候我又偏偏闲着，很纠结的感觉。相信欣慧，敏琪，利盈，嘉慧，以宁都过得蛮好的嘛。嗯，那就好。于是我极度不喜欢‘潜水员’，=A=我到底要重复几次我的问题才听得见你的答案，你可不可以讲话大声一点，我不是你男朋友，我耳残，你知不知道啊？！也就算了，况且我一个人也慢慢习惯说话然后没回应的时候，自己说自己的，自己唱自己的。

嗯，明天又会和小狼见面了，又是烦恼华语呈堂的东西。加油呗。

再见。

CNY photos.

New year ended, Ang Pao ended, Firecracker and Fireworks like world war ended too.

Back to school with a fully unwilling, but still a must also. Too boring to be with who sitting beside me, as she has a scuba-diving in the water all the time. And I cant hear what she said, maybe she "Bluu bluu bluu" like a fish, you can scold me "You deaf ah?!" or I can scold you "You dumb ah?!" Fine then, talking with boyfriend, and even at a far distance, their shouting still limited, and I cant hear anything, when standing between them, well, totally you a dumb.

Went Jusco, Secret Recipe when chor3 with sister, and she wasted my money. Little sista theres no chinese tea in Secret Recipe okay. Well next time I go with friend and even treat friend more better. Who wanna join!? :D

Am so suprise when chor2 mummy showed me this little dress. Aww its my little dress. But mummy, why you can keep my dress for 16years just for my sister and now for my cousin babe? Mummy you awesome keeper!

This is what my chor3 looks like. Yoohoo giordano lion polo tee and hugo boss glasses. <3

Chor2 photos. Yoohoo leopard prints. <3

Every chinese new year say wanna eat prosperity burger but lastly phailed too. But this year 2012, finally I ate it!! Yoohoo yummy although its abit spicy, but I like the drinks choo muchy.

Well, end post first. Goodnight Babe. 

初六

又在深夜里打部落的我，新年的气氛渐渐平静下来了，今天初六，于是每天都呆在家O蛋，明天应该跟麻吉们拜年去吧。

像小女孩般哭泣，遗失了那个泰迪，像遗失了一部分的回忆。另一部分的回忆呢？所有人都遗失了他，剩下埋在心里最深最深，谁也不提，谁也不记得。或许能说，不是刻意去忘记，而是假装的去忘记。是，我很想念。还是有流泪的时候，因自己还是很执着。

节日总是把我们的距离拉远，很远，很忙，原来不管再多忙也没有忘记对方。<3

挚友，过得怎么样了？明天能见到你了呢。只要不是在学校匆匆忙忙的一刹那，只要不是纠结的心情，我们依然可以过得很好，即使我们很遥远，即使我们还是没有变，只不过多了份回归大地，打从以前就根本不出现的勤奋。

一切记忆都还一直停留在中四，人家问我是中二还是中三，荒唐，我中五了好不。

夜了，晚安。

关心，总少一个自己

于是蓝衣同座还是一样没有反应，很不给面子的，自己努力地慢慢地去习惯一个人说话然后没有回应的这种感觉。

时间很匆忙，和挚友见面也感觉很匆忙，路过的微笑，其实让我感到很纠结。唯一能高兴的是，我还是能remind你，即使又是不在你身边...

功课不算多，可是这几天总提不起心做完，很疲累，很疲累。

在我和小钊之间冷却的那一刻，状态和留言还是有人like，礼貌的说一声去死，根本不会看timing的就去死，要是都无法的话，那我去算了。痛哭也有，痛苦也有，对不起没有用，不在于多少句对不起，而是一颗心。

不久后有着Camp Prefect，很不想很不想很不想去，还是同样的地方，同样的Faci，然后同样的方式？很想逃，很想逃。PRS也好像和我们combind，感觉很奇怪。于是今天课外活动开会后红星月会Camp也在Dr Campsite Ulu Langat? 白痴那么爱那个地方？对不起，我不想念。

能否开心一点的笑？

但愿没有吵架，没有冷却，没有酸味，没有疲累，只有快乐，最后一年，其实我很想珍惜。

家庭，还好吗？但愿能劝服爸，还是，了解他的心情。

顾及一切，这个那个，还欠一个..

我，还好吗？承受很多不同感受，话语，这个家还值得逗留？幸福美满的，在哪里？

请，挽救我。

First week

Started school life for 3 days in this week, luckily its just 3 days, thanks god.

To feel the tired, the busyness, and the truly school life I feel. Since best friend went another class, to make me more concentrate on my study, focus much what teacher teaching even I'm sitting the mosttttttttttttt behind in the class. (New student that came from gombak can I fark you harder? Tutttt.) Yes since the first day because of I was late so I was the single one, but lastly you are the single one in 2nd day and 3rd day my new student.

For some of 'clever' classmates, some thought Im late coming to school, some thought Im not Sci2 and went up Sci1, some thought that I never come, well well well thank you for the 'prettiest' caring moment, who remember me this S-haul.

For some of helpful and funny classmates, make my days go on well and smooth, and makes my days happy eventhough some words are 'erherm' or some words are nonsense but funny lar you guys. Gayish but macho too. So that my days wont just full of sadness, being happy to forget the saddy things, being busy to forget the saddy things too. Life makes me to concentrate study, study well, doing homework, I was hard to believe that I turned like a good student, ''Am this is me?" I keep asking myself, and I know that now this moment, the serious me. 

For the one who sitting beside me, you are just quiet girl and not interesting girl (been slapped). Mostly time I just syok sendiri and you didnt give me any response. -.- Tutttt dont make me like an idiot. Ok well, but yesterday morning when I reached school and reached my class, and your boyfriend sitting on my seat, I actually was like WTF but its okay. Damn I hate the moment that your boyfriend smiling at me, oiyor geli lar. Well I wish that we can sit together nicely, til the end of the year.*Shake hand*

For my friends and best friend, yea honestly to say, I miss you guys, and I miss the awesome and pretty moments with you guys. Playing the 大风吹 when we are walking, jumping or turn around or squatting. And for best friend, I miss the laughing sounds between me and you, even just a drawing or a word or a 'erherm' or THE CLASS PHOTO, fuuuyoh can laugh till never ends. Well, we really should spend more time for each other, so that the laughings never end.

Done homework, done pack bag. Addmath melts my brain? Facebook absolutely melts my heart. 

But dude I want to go Jusco Popular to buy something lar, because of those annoying teachers that want this kind that kind books, long book short book line book graft book or thick book but never say want thin books. 

Bath mood, here I go. 

Bye, awesome friends.

开学第一天

6点钟被Bruno Mars吵醒，看来他真的很想娶我。娶我吧，我不想上学。(Alarm music:Marry you by Bruno Mars)

上车，很突然的发现原来前座这位是淑瑜，好，大概可以了解为什么她会在这里。

原来开学第一天第一位看到的是MelvinWong，很潇洒地走在上学途中，校服的衬托让他看起来蛮帅，男生的校服就是比较好看。车子也经过了他。

焦虑自己有没有迟到，直到进了校门口才觉得安心，可是我还是迟过了早晨的morning call。

Main Gate不能进，只准进Second Gate，我其实一大早就骂了‘wtf what school rule is this.’，进了校门当然还是以快速脚步穿梭人群，尼玛步行很慢还是停着说话的，我知道假期很久没有见面那种想念但麻烦到一个比较不阻碍的地方聊行不行啊小弟小妹。

远远地望见了妳，可是不想先见妳去，我事先计划的那些，也没有做到。

到Balai Ilmu去，再出来，见到的还是MelvinWong，很美的笑容，还说了句早安。但还是继续我的忙，找小钊，拿卡，Tugas去。

直到我从妳后方走来，惠玲的招呼，妳的笑容，还是没有变，虽然不是平日的灿烂，可是还是很甜。走开，不久后再走回来，唱歌前就站在妳的身边，我还是很想陪妳。莫名的是第四首就开始笑出来，被妳传染的笑。然后全世界就只剩下我俩在唱。

尼玛今年中四的某一些从第一首国歌讲到最后一首，靠。不唱，好好闭嘴也好啊。

7.20am，Second Gate被关，一大群迟到的在外面，Noriani乱骂，再让他们进来坐在走廊上。

于是8点就到后台去忙了。捧着一堆Borang Kawalan，新校长台上一直喊一直骂，火药味很重，可是样子还是很Lembik。

大概周会到8.30am，耗时1小时多，于是我很不明白第一天为什么要做Borang Kawalan，嘛，就没有班长，大多数级任老师更不是很想收，那么我这里跑那里跑有啥用？

没关系，于是重要的是要拿到老师们的签名，我没有办好，还真的很抱歉，怎样还是劳烦到美吟了。

忙忙忙—— 找到自己的班，回到班上，望了望整间课室，感到彻底失望。我的位子呢？空位有没有？连多余的桌子椅子也没有，我真的彻底失望了，很累，没有力再想，很热，很热。

又必须再出去忙。再回来，再好好的望着整间课室，还是没有，就是没有。我位子呢？我位子呢？就连椅子也只好拉老师的椅子。望着千睿，微笑一个。=)

于是最后还是很感谢千睿和圣海帮我搬桌子，谢谢。=)

原本我一直觉得我会哭，原来没有，原本我觉得我会... 原来最后还是没有做到。

他对我说：她厚看起来很不在乎你厚。

其实，她不是不在乎，而是我们谁也不想伤害谁，没有提起，就没有。

他又说：听说蛮多人要换班下来。

：例如？

他又说：XX等等。

（开始在意）：你的等等是什么意思？

他回答：就还有蛮多个啊。

：噢... （我没有问，我还是没有问）

于是他说了一些很突然的事情给我听，下课过后见到他说的那个人，我看着那个人，看着那个人，我是否看见我的影子？

我一直让自己变得很忙很忙，其实，我只是不想忆起。

我一直说我要望进那双眼，我不行，我依旧不太行。沟通，还是欠乏一点爽快的语气。于是，相处大概加起来只有1节的时间。

放学，车上，我静静地望着妳，沉思了。

有朵云，带着彩虹色，今天很好吗？不好。明天呢？

不写了，哽咽很辛苦，真的。

快开学了

今天嘛，就来个华语篇好了。

于是时间过得很快的，假期也过得七七八八了，一天比一天睡足十二个小时的日子，其实很快地过去，嘛，假期盼开学，开学盼假期，这种生活即不是太悠闲就是太忙碌。虽然自己很在意很期待开学的日子，但...毕竟自己还是莫名的感觉到第一天的不好预感，新校长，加上第一天可能会有周会和临检（好，这些事咱们蓝衣的也不是很清楚罢了，通常都是在第一天开完会过后才有得向朋友们报告。）向朋友们报告？朋友们？回想起来，往往不就只有那几个么？而...明年...*叹气* 我向谁报告？于是是走入人家班而不是自己班的么？...其实...或许说，我不该提，我真的不该问，这只是我俩最沉重的话题...是，没有错你是看透我的心，说‘没事的’是假的，但心里怀着满满的‘有事’...使我突然很不想开学，突然很没有勇气去面对一切。*哽咽* 于是很记得昔日的那种感觉，那种拥抱，那种Hi-5手势，那种温暖。或许在外的遇见比在学校的还要轻松，于是才会常欺盼着和你一起出街过节日，于是才会把我自己养成了一种上课间突然说出一句“走咯，去gaigai”的习惯。然而最后就只能在校园内兜，不停地兜。白痴，真是白痴，就因为太过的白痴就是那么的有价值，那么的铭心刻骨。此刻真的好累，好累。

宁愿呆在假期里，第一个梦，到第九个梦，满满的都是你，是感觉太超过，是感觉很WTF，是感觉很尼玛，可是... 我宁愿。

够了够了。

是的没有错，这个月是12月嘛，先是过了4号自己的生日，那超级健忘虾忘记我的生日*再巴一下*，然后就是10号咱蓝衣Farewell的派对，过后就是17号Fuseng的生日，过后就是19号Jusco Rawang的开张，过后就是24号的平安夜+25号圣诞。

12月9号照片。

 





于是这是那个早晨到学校帮忙布置去的照片，有着小狼陪伴步行到学校，啊哈你比我还更我起床样吖小狼。亲爱的你的电话还不错嘛，把我拍得很美。呵，难得我和小钊又有合照了。

 

 12月9号照片end。

倒流回去六年级聚会PortDickson两天一夜。

Port Dickson照片End。

圣诞节照片。-于是啊，从小到大我们家都有挂袜子的传统嘛，啊呵呵，半夜会迷迷糊糊爬起来摸摸袜子里有没有礼物啊。

好嘛，我的礼物，啊——————Santa啊你干嘛买我有过的东西，哎哟。

嘛，早上起来刷牙的时候老妹就跑来问我拿到什么礼物了。

“姐，你有拿到礼物吗？”

“有啊，你叻？拿到什么礼物？”（明明就是你老妈托我帮她settle礼物的我怎么会不知道你礼物是什么啊小子）

“nehh,angry bird铅笔盒咯。”

“...”

“哥哥拿到conand的dvd叻”

;D 其实啊我在jusco兜了很久找礼物啊,还真的有点丢脸到玩具部买angry bird,而且在speedy也呆了好久，一直想一直想哪一个conan你看过哪一个没有！最后买个2011年最新的给你算了。=.=我就是逊咖。

圣诞节照片end。

家人照片。

家人照片end。

暂时到这里嗯。<3

Yesterday

Yesterday actually decide to go country homes clinic for take injection but lastly didnt go. Went Emerald West with mama and aunt to visit the sample Semi-D house. I was mad and mama already mad with this pretty house. Althought its abit small but its suit for papa mama me bro sis. I was thinking, when we can live in this house? When I can be a richer or billionaire? *Background music with Billionaire by Bruno Mars, I wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad——*

 I love the wall picture so muchyyy. 

Back to the real life we owned. My house at Country Homes,Cassa Ria also quite nice sia. It gave me a sweet and harmony home feelings.

Next with my photos. Yea its almost gona open school, so I clean up my messy looks, and I looks normal now. 

我气色还真的蛮不错啊。Coca-Cola I love you. <3

Go dinner. Bye everyone.

Zoombie life

Hows my life in the holidays? Hows my status in the holidays?

I'm like a zoombie or plant or alien in the holidays. Like a zoombie mostly time back to my ground and sleep. Like a plant also back to my ground. Like an alien also back to the UFO and sleep. Everything about sleep. Eat sleep wake up eat sleep wake up bath eat sleep wake up at 2nd day. What to do? Mummy that never be open minded and be tie-ing me so tight, where my freedom? Wheres my permission to be independence? Do anyone let me to go out and work or take some part time job? Mummy do you let me to? Stay at home you scold me that Im a lazy bitch that didnt do any housework, housework for maid and what else for me somemore? Go out for work you dont let then where should I go? Sorry mum, its all about my feelings, Im afraid, afraid to ask for permission. And forever I'll be afraid, a wall being there to make me hard to talk to you well. You said that Im fierce, how much I hope I can talk to you like a friend, how much I hope I can be a friend with you and theres no any wall between a strict mother and a daughter. You never know, you never.

Today is my friend+brother's (FuSeng) birthday, well sorry that I had forgot your birthday because I past my days with dizzy life and I even dont know what the date and time. Happy birthday brother, wish you can successfully let go all the past and have a new start, finding your true love(but I understand lar next year should study hard first ;P) This guy promise that he will gimme a morning call at 9am but when 10am I woke up I saw nothing at my phone, no call no message *Broken heart*. And I started scolding with a sleepface: Sei Sengzai ah say want wake me up but no call. Then after that sleep back. Till 2pm I woke up and see my phone again, no call no message, heart broke into piecessss. Well its time to wake up and brush my teeth, but sadly its lunch time again, how long I never have a pretty breakfast in this holidays.*Sigh* And when Im in the toilet, my phone rang up with this fella's 'morning call'. Well hang up I dont want to let him hear my sleepy voices. -.-

Do you all miss me? Hell yes I miss myself that tied two poney tails and walking around the school.

Next year, I would challenge myself to tie even more high like a Sailormoon. Gambateh! 

Oh yah HO TING TING you dont forget to bring back the RIBBON from KLCC. Love you girl.